Approaching Thirty: An Honest Telling Of The Road Through My Twenties
This journey so far has not been an easy one. I've spent most of my 20s filled with angst, indecision and a crushing feeling of failure. (That's what your 20s are for though, everyone tells me!).
It's been a muddled path - careers and jobs taken on purely to pay the bills, but with no real motivating factor otherwise. Even the degree I did was chosen with the recklessness of pulling something out of a hat.
And now, a couple of months away from 30, I find myself reflecting on this last decade and where it has lead me.
I've travelled, which has been the best part of it all - lived abroad in China, Japan and America, explored Europe, our beautiful country of South Africa, and a few surrounding ones too.
I finished that muddled degree choice of mine (a BA Corporate Communication and Psychology for those who are interested), and nearly ten years later I finally see a benefit to it - those marketing and advertising strategies finally paying off.
I've drifted between jobs - a bartender, a model, an art director, a wardrobe stylist, a caterer, a shop assistant, a jeweller designer, a retailer, a brand builder - just to name a few. None of them really caught hold.
Always though, it's been hard work, it's been long hours, it's been tough times and resilience, even when all I want to do is break down in the middle of the night (and there's been a fair share of that too!).
And then I stumbled my way into this photography thing. I'd been taking pictures of places and holidays and things for years, but the thought of taking pictures of people - oh gosh no! But faced with the extremely high cost of living in Los Angeles, snapping a few head shots of friends seemed like a good opportunity.
But, don't get me wrong - I was HORRIBLE at it in the beginning. Like shockingly bad.
So I went online, I studied, I toiled, I worked long hours in a slew of crazy jobs - serving celebrities the tiniest of canapés, dressing LA housewives in slouchy tees worth more than one month of my salary.
It was hard work. But that is what I've always thought work to be.
But something in that decisive click of the camera, in that capture of a moment, in each tiny little artwork that I make with my camera, and nearly four years later it hasn't let go just yet ;)
And now, four years in, and the work is no less hard, it's just a helluva lot more rewarding. I finally feel like I've made it through my muddled 20s, and there's a light on the other side - a very bright burning light calling me forward.
I have found a place in myself where there is a huge amount of peace, a quiet confidence, and a burning happiness. I know I still have miles and miles to go, and many more challenges to face, but after the last decade I sure do feel a whole lot tougher and ready to face those obstacles straight on. I also have some really BIG plans that are burning away, ready to come to life. They'll have to wait until I'm actually in my 30s though ;)